Remember how you felt on Trump’s re-election? Was it grief, rage, fear, isolation? And how do you feel now? Are you no longer able to talk with certain family members? How are you managing the emotional roller coaster of this administration? This story is about how small group of your neighbors are managing.
This group is coming together in a safe, confidential Zoom space to open up in ways they can’t elsewhere and to hear that they are not alone. Over time, they’ve, learned new perspectives, useful communication exercises and strategies for getting through this sometimes traumatic new environment and have formed a virtual community of support.
The volunteer making all this possible—facilitating, guiding and offering new paths—is Dr. Matt Fried.
Matt is a licensed NY State psychologist. During COVID, Matt discovered he could effectively serve clients remotely. Having rendered pro bono his psychological services in person to the Obama campaign in Ohio in 2012, he wanted to volunteer his services using Zoom to relevant upstate groups.
During the 2024 Presidential campaign, Matt was in town. He stopped by the Margaretville Dem Pop Up HQ and offered his services. He anticipated the serious post-election stresses that would happen regardless of who won. Indeed, Trump’s re-election left many neighbors struggling. At a Dem sponsored grieving event, attendees signed up for what would become Matt’s facilitated “Can We Talk”.
Matt’s “Secret Sauce” is facilitating—guiding small groups toward breaking through stress induced disfunction and isolation. He listens with the intention helping the speaker feel understood and respected. He may suggest ideas that provide ways to improve communication skills and change older patterns.
“Can We Talk” Zoom sessions have evolved since then from initial venting to current discussions on strategies for bringing community back together. To that end, Matt is participating in a new project with the Democratic Committee—“Community Conversations”. While not a support group, these in-person, primarily social events are aimed at countering isolation, building community and maybe offering attendees some new skills.
I asked Matt what message he wanted to share with our readers. He said,
“People trying to make social change need skills for communicating with other human beings effectively: how to make others feel understood; how to get feedback quickly regarding the way they are coming across; being flexible enough to recognize when things are going south and not get stuck doing the same thing repeatedly; knowing how to make people feel good about themselves.”
He added,
“We’re always told to stay hopeful—which sounds great—but there’s no instruction manual on how we can do that. We recommend asking ourselves, what do I need from within myself and what do I need from colleagues and friends to stay hopeful, optimistic and engaged? In the same vein, we can also ask others, ‘what do you need to remain hopeful?’ Of course, we then must listen carefully to the answers. They will always be revealing and useful.”
Subscribers to dcDIGEST read this in the July 7th issue. The Secret Sauce series looks at what sparks concerned bystanders to taking action. These volunteer stories are inspiring. They often bring special skills (their “Secret Sauce”) that add in ways we Dems didn’t know we needed!